were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
