Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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