Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
