Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
