Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
