remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
