we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
