I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
smell my finger.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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