My boss' voice literally gives me gas
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
