Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
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