its not stalking. its research.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
