"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
