I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
