Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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