What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
