my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
