AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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