I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
