I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
