Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
