i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
