We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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