she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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