i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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