That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
