im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
