everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
