This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
even my farts smell like vagina
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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