People in love make me want to vomit
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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