Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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