I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Randomize
