If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
