Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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