Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
