So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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