I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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