just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
