dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
