i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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