Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
