I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
