we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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