OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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