four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
