okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
