so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
