no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
