No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
