It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
