there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
