and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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