Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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